Trolls Need Not Apply

Dear Needful in the Sack,

For the sake of all that is pure and holy in your pubescent brain, stay away from those chat sites. I do declare they are nothing but a festering breeding ground for narcissists discontent miscreants and mindless trolls.

Especially trolls. These are creatures that fester within the deepest realms of desperation and discontent. Oh, they are vile manifestations. They provide no distinguishable intellectual nourishment for anyone, especially those who may possess anything higher than a 5th grade education.

Feast your eyes upon the “Mind Erasing Trollasaurus”.

Sitting idle in a chat room this particular troll will gobble up your personal information all the while sucking out your life force with senseless babble. This troll has a war cry of LOL and will mock you no matter what you say to it.

And what do they do with your information? Like a fat cow who received a 6th place participation ribbon at a school track meet, this troll will run back to Mommy Troll to show off all the latest intel.

Dear Sackless: if you find yourself infatuated with these trolls, might I suggest stabbing your own eye out with a crochet needle?

Have a blessed day.